The King (Crab) Speech – a vision for welfare improvements for crustaceans
- 18 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Today, on Wednesday 13 May, King Charles announced the government’s priorities for the coming parliamentary session from the House of Lords. There has been much speculation about what the King would announce, and as suspected, disappointingly, there was no mention of animal welfare legislation in the priorities for the year ahead.
This omission will continue to leave decapod crustaceans suffering in a range of settings. Since their inclusion in the Animal Welfare (Sentience) Act, there have been no meaningful welfare improvements for in the four years since. As a result, some 420 million crustaceans which come into contact with humans every year in the UK are treated differently to every other sentient animal.
So, as the government continues to fail to deliver change, Crustacean Compassion brings you the alternative King’s Speech – what would a king crab want to see announced?
Make way for His Crustacean Majesty, Monarch of the Sea, our rather crabulous royal King Crab…
Sigh. We are not amused.
Today, beneath the gilded ceilings of the House of Lords, one King delivered his speech to the nation, while we, no less crowned (and rather better armoured), listened from our rocky throne, antennae poised, claws crossed - only to find, once again, that we magnificent 10-legged creatures had been entirely overlooked.
So, in the absence of ambition from above, we – His Crustacean Majesty – take it upon ourselves to deliver our own King’s Speech. One with rather more backbone.
Hear ye, hear ye, a Royal decree from the seafloor
Let it be known across all shores, harbours, kitchens, laboratories, and corridors of power, by the crustacean authority we reasonably claim, we set out the following:
That all sentient animals, whether furred, feathered, scaled, or shelled, should be afforded equal protection under the law.
That no creature should be boiled alive or beheaded for convenience or tradition.
That no animal should be sold alive to be killed in domestic kitchens without proper knowledge or care.
That no animal should be transported through the post in ways that compromise their welfare.
That science shall not proceed without oversight, ethics, and due regard for suffering.
Failure to comply will result in our most severe expression of disapproval, and the continued suffering of millions of our fellow crustacean subjects.
By Order of the Crown (the one with claws)
“The Government will reform the Animal Welfare Act, ensuring protections for all sentient animals”
The Animal Welfare Act 2006, now a venerable twenty years old (positively ancient in crab years), is the landmark piece of animal protection legislation in England and Wales. It establishes a duty of care for animals under the control of humans, ensures welfare standards, and provide guidance for humane treatment.
For almost everyone.
But decapod crustaceans, and our cephalopod counterparts, are notably absent. Recognised as sentient, yes. Protected in law? Not so much.
This omission leaves us subject to voluntary guidance produced by industry itself, guidance which we regret to note, pays rather less attention to our welfare than we might prefer.
Twenty years on, the time has come, for meaningful reform, to include us. To protect us. Frankly, it is the least one might do for a fellow sentient being.
“The Government will update the Animals (Scientific Procedures) Act 1986 to include decapod crustaceans”
At present, one may conduct experiments on crustaceans without oversight. Without mandatory ethical oversight. No requirements for training. No justification needed.
We find this… inexcusable.
We remain entirely outside the scope of ASPA, despite research from our comrades at Crustacean Compassion indicating that we rank among the most commonly used animals in experiments each year. Sometimes merely observed, sometimes harmed, sometimes killed. And all without the safeguards or regulation afforded to other sentient animals.
The Government has taken steps to address this recently, with the esteemed Lord Hanson announcing a “phased approach” to the future regulation of crustacean use. Committees will convene. Standards will be discussed. Options will be considered.
We applaud the sentient. But we must point out: one cannot indefinitely deliberate while others do the suffering. It requires decisive action, A-SAP, old chap.
“The Government will enhance and protect crustacean welfare across all settings”
And here, dear ministers, the solutions are neither complex nor costly. They simply require the will to act.
Ending live, conscious boiling: The Government has already acknowledged that boiling us alive is unacceptable and incompatible with welfare protection. Quite.
A promising start, yet the promised guidance on humane slaughter remains conspicuously absent. In the meantime, we continue to reach… well … boiling point.
Endling live sales to the public: We are still regularly sold to the public alive, transported home and killed in domestic kitchens – often by those with no training or experience whatsoever. For almost every other animal, humane slaughter occurs before purchase. We see no reason why us crustaceans should be treated differently.
Ending the live posting: It may sound bizarre, but yes, it is still possible to order one of us online and have us delivered alive through the post. Some arriving dead, others injured and awaiting the same fate. Such journeys cause profound stress and suffering. We must insist this farce ceases at once.
A final word from the rocky throne
Let us be clear.
The changes required are modest. The costs are negligible. But the moral case is overwhelming.
And yet action remains elusive. Year after year progress is deferred or simply ignored entirely.
The time for sidestepping is over. The tide is turning and the path forward is unmistakably clear. All that is missing is the political will.
So, one must ask: will this Government finally get it’s Acts together and deliver decapod crustaceans the protections they deserve?
Our King Crab has spoken, but his voice alone is not enough.
Add yours, and help ensure the Government finally delivers the protections that have been far too long overdue.
